The Annals of Decimus: The Finale Christmas Special

The man came down from the frozen north
With beard and wolf he did stride forth
With boldness, braveness, barbarian blood
The Germanic ladies saw him as a stud.
But what he did lack was the stoical cool
Which made Roman Decimus nobody's fool.

"You dare to invade Athenian land?"
Decimus shouted, shield in hand.
"Herr garbley blargedool sher shugenall gled!"
The barbarous foe incomprehensibly said.
"If it's a fight you want, I'll cut out your guts!"
But knocked from his hand, his sword, the klutz.
With a slap of his shield, the axe gone too
It was hand to hand combat, brutality did ensue.
Wham bam ka-pow, slash hackity slice
The way these boys played was far from nice.
And so they stood on Athenian stone
Their bodies bloodied with broken bones.



When the wolf howled, Decimus struck;
The wolf howled no more, he ran out of luck.
The barbarian roared, rage and bile,
He mourned his companion for quite a long while.







Then it was time, the once and for all,
The barbarian hit, would Decimus fall?






This story ends, of the man from Rome
Who within Athens, was far from home.
As he watched the sun which sets
He sighed his sigh of worries and frets.
How did he do it? How did he live?
How did he survive the fight his foe did give?
"This story," he said, "'twould be hard to tell,
For 'twas not me, but him who fell.
But to tell you how I did manage
To gain the win with my disadvantage,
To be honest, 'twould strain the truth."

At this point Decimus did cease,
His story stopped, on his brow, a crease.
A single snowflake, from the sky
Touched his face below the eye.
And where it melted appeared a tear
But on his face, what's this? Good cheer!
"Well my friends," the Roman said,

"How about this, then off to bed?
The fight was long, the struggle grim,
The odds of living, from none to slim,
Yet as I clung there, on the ledge,
I had a thought which gave me the edge.
I thought of a man all decked in red,
Who gives out presents from his sled.

If you've been quite meek and mild,

And if you've been a docile child,

Well then this man, why, he'd reward you!

Whereas I, I would have gored you.

For this behavior of Santa Claus

Saps our strength and weakens our laws!

For right then, with my barbarous foe,

Weakened by Santa, I would have felt my death blow.

But I was strong with Roman ichor

And against this foe I was much quicker

I did not falter, I did not fail,

For I must catch Santa and send him to jail!

For he ruins our virtue and nurtures our vice,

And gives us the ethics of Jesus the Christ.

So I threw down the German, down to Hades my foe!

And pulled myself up, though progress was slow.

A triumph, I'd won! But for Rome there's no rest,

The outside threat's gone, but Christmas's the test."

And now we go back, to the place we call home

From Athens by bus, then by plane we'll be flown.

Though classes are over and finals are done,

To sit back and rest would be far from fun.

Yes, this chapter ends, but Decimus goes on

To vandalize reindeer on my neighbor's lawn,

And wage war against Christmas, 'till, from memory, it is long gone.