Things that should not and will not appear here

I am travelling to study the classics, and in writing about this, I may be tempted to make a number of unfortunate connections between my life an the classics in lieu of actual content, so I'll just head myself off right here. For example, you will not see me compare my journies with those of Odysseus, because
1) I am not manly and noble enough to be held captive by an unnaturally attractive nymph who just wants to have sex with me forever.
2) Should this occur, I am also not stupid enough to do everything within my powers to leave said nymph.
3) Odysseus was clever, and figured out how to get past the gates of Troy to sack the city. I, however, lock myself OUT of my dorm room.
4) Odysseus needed no visas or passports.

There are, of course, other mythological figures whom I won't compare myself with. If I choose to stay in studying while my classmates are out drinking and having a good time, I won't say that I am like Pentheus, because, despite how much she loves a good party, my mom and aunts won't tear my body apart with their bare hands and scatter the pieces over the forest as a result of this. Should I choose to not write a stupid paper and go out to a bar and to listen to music, I won't compare myself with a satyr.

I'm not that well endowed.
Also... let us take a moment to reflect on the fact that I am going off to study a culture that put THAT wonder of the world onto a piece of pottery.